Since I have been pregnant I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster that I just can’t seem to get off. With the blink of an eye or the slightest odd look, I am questioning everything. I laugh, I cry, I get depressed.
I have always been a very confident person and didn’t let things bother me too much, but again, much like when I lost my father a few months ago, I am again feeling insecure and unsure of myself. I am sensitive to the way that my friends react to me and how Chiqui is with me. (Perhaps this isn’t related to the pregnancy, maybe I’m still grieving?)
I’m constantly wondering why I am not connecting with my friends, why we are on totally different pages and why I just can’t seem to relate to anyone right now. It is a really weird spot for me to be in.
On top of all of that, I recently had a revelation about some of the things in my fathers house. I had never really cared if anyone took anything that was his because, it wasn’t him and wasn’t going to bring him back. But this was before I realized that many of the pictures of my father had been taken.
It frustrates me, that out of all the items in the house that someone would think that it was ok to take his pictures! I don’t care how they are related to him, his photo’s are my children’s legacy. It is their linage and it would have been wonderful to have pictures to tell with my stories of him.
In addition to that, they don’t even know the stories that go with those pictures. They didn’t sit and listen to my father talk for hours about the pictures, where he was and what was going on at the time. And if he did share that information I can tell you first hand that they didn’t listen nor retain the stories, and I have.
On a happier note (we are on our way up on the emotional roller coaster) my ultrasound is scheduled for July 8th. I am so excited to see the baby and how he/she is doing. I hope that the baby is cooperative and gives us a peek to see if he is a he or if she is a she 
I also want to make sure that we have all the proper anatomy, as a healthy baby is the most important at this point.
Bella and Joey are doing well. Bella just finished out Ballet with a wonderful recital and Joey finished off the school year with straight A’s!!! Go kids.
Bella starts a new preschool next week, she is both excited and sad to leave her current daycare and friends.
By the way did I ever mention that I registered to be an organ donor? Well I did. After, following the amazing story on cfhusband.blogspot.com I felt it was a really wonderful thing to do. Besides after I pass away I won’t need those parts any way. And I am sure my kids wont want to collect them, it would be the one and only thing I will not leave to them, unless they can use them to better their health LOL
Talk about off topic, have you noticed the roller coaster here????
Enough for now, will post more as I get around to it.
Take care.
PS: As Jenn from http://justchickenfeed.com/ would say “Verbal Comments Are Now Closed”
